I did it again! Yeah, I went to the gym (24 hours ago), burnt what? 400 calories at the most. I proceeded to sleep all day. I woke up ate past and meatballs and cereal at the dining hall (threw up till I saw bile) then I smoked and ate more in Alex's room. Half a peanut butter and chocolate sandwich, a shit ton of candy, chips, and lots of pasta. I AM GOING TO THE GYM UNTIL I BURN AT LEAST 1000 CALORIES! This is fucking ridiculous. I need to learn my lesson. I'm giving myself another chance. If I fuck it up this time it means I don't want it. I do want it, I do need it, and I will get it! I need punishment. When I go to the gym tomorrow I will be punishing myself for fucking up so fucking badly all the time. Each time I fuck up I will have to spend more hours at the gym. I cannot resort to cutting, it isn't making any progress. I will work out until I puke, then clean up and work some more. I am strong and willing and I can do this. I FUCKING CAN DO THIS!!!!!
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