21 January 2011

Did OK today. I had a little subway and a little ice cream this morning. I had some sugar free red bull, a shot of tequila and a beer. I tried to get some pickles, but I dropped them in the hallway and was left to eat a third of the jar. That's OK, I didn't need them anyway. I think I'm really gonna do it this time, I've already lost five pound. I'm at 145, my goal weight is 90. I can do this, I'll go home and show all of them that I can do this. I did it, you know how good that would feel? Just to show all of them that I'm not always gonna be the fattest one there. I can be the skinniest.
I miss Anthony so much. He is the love of my life, I don't think I could live without him. I want him here with me. I want him to hold me and love me like he always did. I want him. I miss him. Fuck, I need to see him.
I'm doing good with school. If I don't get all A's this semester ASU isn't going to let me come back next semester. I'm even doing homework over the weekend. The whole time I was at Kevin's today I read. I really like my classes, so it should be a piece of cake, right?